Honestly speaking, I believe that there is no parent who will not tell the child small innocent lies. Whether we use them as a way to hide a painful truth for the little one, to provide us with some extra moments of peace or to cause him to do something he does not really want, we all sometimes resort to them.
Innocent lies we tell our children
Has it ever happened to your little one to fall asleep or to wake up in the middle of a sweaty lake at midnight? Or that your little one suddenly wants to eat something that until yesterday you could not even make him taste? Or to stay up all night waking up waiting for who knows what mystical character to make an appearance? All these are only the consequences of all the lies to which they are exposed daily, both by those close to them and by other people with whom they come into contact.
Even if these lies are based on a good purpose or are meant to cause children to change something for the better in their behavior, they can have unwanted repercussions on children and their entire lives.
Sometimes, In order to scare the uneducated children, all kinds of characters are brought into discussion, at the pack with various threats: "Come Bau-Bau and eat you!", "If you do not sleep faster, you will see the Black Man", "Baba Cloanta hears you if you lie and comes to eat you" and how many and more.
There are lies told to scare the child and straighten his behavior: "I leave you here and you will come home alone!", "Santa Claus sees you and will not bring you any more gifts", "if you do not tell me the truth the police come and take you" - from such lies the child's fear of abandonment, or fear.
Sometimes, in order to protect your child from too cruel a truth, you choose to hide: "Your puppy went to the animal farm to be with his family."
Little lies about things they don't like and still have to do: "I won't hurt you, I promise", "If you don't eat vegetables you will get sick and go to the hospital", "Eat, it's chicken, how do you like it", "We don't have chocolate anymore, ice cream is over", " At bedtime, it's sleep time. "
Lies meant to postpone or which are actually a masked refusal: "We have less and we arrive", "We see more", "The park is closed now", "We are going back another time".
The biggest lie you can say with a noble purpose, which is right, to give a positive example: "When I was your age, I didn't do that."
But what do you do when, besides the little lies that you appeal to as a parent, you still add to that, the lies told by those around? Innocent lies such as "if you get older, stay that way", "if you're not okay give your mom", "stop crying you're ugly and stay like this", "if you don't sleep you'll stay small and mom won't to love you again. "
Mentions that our children's society transmits
Or worse, be a little attentive to what society transmits in relation to today's values and how you should live your life, false propaganda from the television, with which the child comes into daily contact and who, if you want, do not want to leave their mark on him:
- "In life it is good to take more than you can offer" - this type of statement can get used to the thought that everything is right and that no one will ever expect from him. He must be guided to learn the importance of altruism, empathy, to know that not only his well-being matters, but that of others.
- "The concept of family is outdated" - nowadays it is known that things when they no longer go away are not repaired, relationships become less and less stable, the marriage institution is shaken, the values of people have changed. The child exposed to such a thought, will live with the feeling that no one and nothing is irreplaceable, will not give the interest to keep important people in his life, will increase with the feeling that having a family is optional, as when things do not go any further, you withdraw and go to the end, do not look for solutions to problems.
- "If it makes you feel good, do it, don't think about the consequences" - freedom has its meaning, but not when it is badly understood. Your child must learn that any action brings with it a consequence, which can affect him personally or those around him.
- "Only you count and your needs are the most important" - the child will grow up with the feeling that everything is right for him and especially that everything will lie on his tray always, whenever he snaps his fingers. Prepare him little for the fight with life, if he has the right tools, he has a chance to win more battles with her.
- "You should look like the models on the covers of magazines" - a false standard of perfection has been created in recent years, promoted in every way possible. Teach your child that beauty is relative, and especially that besides this quality you need many other qualities to be successful in life. It is important to accept and not compare with processed images, in order not to be disappointed and to be pleased with your own person.
- "To be happy you must have them all" - teach your child that happiness is a state of mind first of all, there are people who seem to have everything and are still unhappy.
How do those little lies affect your little ones?
If you expect the little one to be honest with you, then you must also offer the same thing. Sometimes you feel overwhelmed by the situation and resort to a lie to save the situation, but think about how the baby affects the long term. When they are young, they do not question anything, nor do they think that adults could lie, a parent even less! For the child you are a standard, you are placed somewhere up there, as the holder of the supreme truth. But when I grow up and start to open my eyes and ears, if I get caught lying, you risk to break the relationship between you two and you know very well that once lost, trust is the hardest thing to recover.
Choose not to lie to the child, teach him how to perceive the truth, especially the painful one, rather tell it all in the form of a story, any alternative is desirable in the face of a lie. A story is simply another way of saying things, with love and patience, the child will receive and get better information.
Make time to be with your child, teach him, guide his steps, make available all the tools to make the difference in time between simple words and reality, teach him what respect, compassion, gratitude mean, grow him so that he becomes a real man. And don't forget that familiar word that says "what do you look like, do you reap!"
Tags Liars children Lies told children